I just want to write a few words on coping with unpleasant emotions, since it is an art most of us never learnt in school, or anywhere else for that matter. Those of us who are lucky enough to have thoroughly been guided through dealing with negative/ unpleasant emotions from our parents, often find it extraordinary how most people simply are left clueless when an emotional charge is triggered.
To provide some imagery; let’s say you’re walking down the street and suddenly you hear the song that was playing the moment your ex girlfriend broke up with you. Without knowing what is going on your emotional body is triggered, and immense sadness overwhelms you. What to do? I mean you didn’t have any time to ‘think it away’ or ‘ignore’ it. Now, usually something very interesting happens here, that being the tendency to ‘close down’ and suppress the emotion that arose. We do this, because there is an archaic, existential fear of unpleasant emotions and of course because we never really learnt how to deal with them. There is a part in us that believes we can die from it, I mean imagine a few thousand years ago in the middle of a hunt you have a depressive episode- that sabrethooth tiger surely is having you for lunch. Yet, those times are over now and most of us have the time and space to deal with it. Suppressing the emotion only makes it worse, because for a short while the intensity of it may disappear, but surely enough the energy of it is stuck in your body, it collapses, it ‘freezes’ up your DNA, and after a certain intensity it has the capability of turning into a trauma. Until it is released, there will always be something triggering the energy of the emotion when we closed. As science of today discovers more on trauma and how it is passed from generation through generation, we see that memories are actually stored (to some extent) in our DNA structure.
So what would be a more mature way of dealing with unpleasant emotions?
Do what resonates, but a wide variety of wisdom traditions and branches of therapy have found that when we actually feel the emotion, it is processed and eventually released when the time is right. Remember, your system is so incredibly intelligent and we aren’t even aware of 1% of what’s going on in our physical body, not to mention the subconscious, emotional and energetical bodies. Let your system do it’s thing and hold the emotion in a loving space without entering into the thought-forms attached to it. Breathe through is, even if it hurts and deeply know that when you accept the emotion and allow it to be there- it will be released.
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